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February 5, 2012
Valentines and Roses...
This month is about love, hearts and ...chocolate  ! I decided to post a beautiful poem from an old book I have. It is a writing from one of the greatest poets that ever
lived, Robert Burns.
A RED,RED ROSE
Oh, my luve's like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
Oh my luve's like the melody,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.
As
fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear
Till a' the
seas gang dry.
Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun:
I will luve
thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.
And fare thee weel, my only luve!
And fare
thee weel awhile!
And I will come again, my luve,
Though it were ten thousand mile.
~Robert
Burns
Credit: the
book by Rev. George Gilfillan
Published by D. Appleton & Co., 346 & 348 Broadway- 1857
New York
January 3, 2012
Attitude...
Another new year and a chance to get it right. We all start out with hopes and the excitement
of what life holds at the beginning, but what about the usual ups and downs that are inevitable? It is how we perceive it
all. Crying over spilt milk never cleaned it up. I have lived long enough to find that no matter what does come about, attitude
is the key to everything. This is a good word to think about every day!
"A positive attitude may not
solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" ~ Herm Albright
So,
may 2012 bring all that you desire and keep in mind that humor will get you over the rough spots. 
December 23, 2011
A Thought...
As
I sat looking out the window today a thought went through my mind. A few days ago while on the highway off ramp there was
a homeless man sitting there hoping for some charity from the many travelers. It is the holiday season and probably much of
the traffic was the shoppers. When I stopped at the light I reached in my wallet and handed the man what money I had in cash
which wasn't much. He was so grateful. It seemed I became overwhelmed at that moment and the tears rolled down my
cheeks. So many people have much and there are those that have so little. I felt the real reason for the hustle bustle of
Christmas is to find the little gifts for those we love, but what about those who have no one or a place of shelter? We need
to have compassion for the lost and lonely. Maybe something happened in their lives that caused their unfortunate situations.
No one is above loss. I have been at that place.
I found the following writing many years
ago, but the author is unknown to me.
A PRAYER OF
THANKS
Thank you God for hot water,
for windows that let in the air and keep out the cold,
for gas and
electric at the flick of a wrist,
for the comfort that greets me as I open the door from the windy night.
Bless
those who find no warmth on the streets,
in condemned buildings,
in fellow-sufferers,
in passersby.
Let your blessing be shown in my regard
for the lonely man on the park bench,
the frightened and bewildered
teen-age drug taker,
the family whose color is different.
Let me know, too, that in sharing
what I have
and am
with those who are in need,
I am doing nothing especially noble,
only what you expect by way of thanks.
Amen
A BLESSED HOLIDAY FOR ALL!
April 20, 2011
Musing...!
A Day
Did you ever really listen
to a Robin sing?
Or take a day to sit on
a swing?
To look out a window
and daydream of...
what your life is about,
of what you love.
Sometimes
we don't see
what is real
and what's not
or be thankful
or humble
or respect our life's
lot.
It may be a mountain
a valley below
but as time goes on
wisdom does grow.
Truth, love and fortitude
of which there is no match,
only honor for the self
and for those we are attached.
Yesterday is gone and
done,
the future yet unknown
Important is this day begun,
so love yourself, smile a lot
and have a bit
of fun!
Generosity and compassion
they're what feed the soul,
not things that are material
or what
others
may think they know.
When your eyes gaze out,
through your personal window
of dreams,
Think
carefully of what you need,
and what your life now...
really means!
April 8, 2011
Persevere...!
Overcoming old habits we are used to whether they are bad for us or not isn't
an easy task. Only with perseverance can one succeed. Strive to move forward, regardless of difficulties that will inevitably
show up. Only what you think of yourself and your own behaviors are within your control. Remember, you are not responsible
for anyone else's actions or what they may think or say. Practice selfishness. Follow your inner guidance
that is a part of each one of us. Being selfish is your relationship with yourself, vs. self-centered which is
the thinking that the world revolves around you and your affairs. Treat yourself with kindness and learn to say no when feeling
the overwhelm of too many demands. Persevere on the road that brings balance to your life, in what ever way works for you. Loving
yourself will radiate outward to others and it makes a difference of who comes into your life. Changing from a negative way
of living to a more positive one builds the self-image, which will bring Light to your spirit and brighten your
journey. Be "who you" want to be! Quite possibly, you may be the most interesting person
you will ever meet.
April 5, 2011
Now what...?
"What do I do now"? you may ask. It is the lingering emotional pain that is not easy to
deal with. No matter what the loss or separation is, the feelings need to be expressed and dealt with. If not, it will lead
into more pain and a spiral downward. Expression over repression!
Think about yourself this way...if you saw
a child and you knew this child was hurting what would you do? Whether it was physical or emotional. Usually we would try
to make the child feel good in some way. Well, treating yourself as you would a child is what you need to think about. You
have a child within yourself that needs the same nurturing. Being a mother or friend to yourself.
There are all
of the usual ways to work on this like meditation, reading, exercise etc. What about considering positive thoughts such as,
asking the healing Arch Angel Raphael to walk beside you each time you feel your inner pain. Make the conscious effort to
say to yourself, "I need you Raphael, to help me heal". Use any affirmation you make up about this great Angel and
with consistent effort you will feel much of your emotional turmoil lifting. Positive and negative cannot be in the same breath.
Angel Raphael is a healing energy force you can call on every time you need him.
So, now what to do? Smile and
know that the bright healing rays of the Angelic Realm will surround you in every part of your day!
September 21, 2010
But, but...?
When trying to break free from the abusive cycle it takes effort and wanting to. If any of my other posts have been read,
you can be sure that I go directly to the point. Sometimes there are too many excuses for not
taking care of yourself. If you are caught up in the never-ending story of being the victim, it will never fix the situation.
It is easier to look at the good side of an abuser rather than do the work it takes to break free. Pooh!...it is just another
excuse. Inside yourself you know that it will continue. It definitely takes determination and work to make a more peaceful
and sane life for yourself. Being the victim or escaping into the poor-me syndrome is a choice. You either want to
leave the adrenaline rush of the roller-coaster ride or you do not. It is as simple as that. Because choices have consequences,
it is the consequences you live with. Which is worth it, the endless complaining to anyone who will listen or figuring out
that courage means something else is worth fighting for? It means that yourself and any children involved are important!
If there is anyone in your life that has continued listen and care after all of the, "but-buts" or
any other avoidance excuses, call on them to help get you out and on the recovery highway. Just take that first step. It
is not easy, I'll say it again, "it is not easy". It is like anything worthwhile; a choice to be responsible
and to do the work. You will doubt yourself many times. After a while, one day at a time, you will wonder why you waited so
long to take the leap. Eventually the light of your spirit will shine brightly again. Life is made up of habits and routines.
Living in abuse is just another familiar routine, but can be a dangerous one.
Let go of the victim role! Who is
going to care if you do not care enough about yourself to try for a better way of life? Listeners get burned out with the
same old song after while. Look in the mirror and tell yourself every day, "I am worthwhile" and "I will get
help one way or another". Leave the victim behind and choose to move out, move on and move up! You can do it; You
have to want to!
May 10, 2010
Take it or leave it...?
At a time you were vunerable or lonely a charming man walked up to you and swept you off your feet.
It is like he had his radar detector out. You needed to hear the wonderful words and enjoy the excitement of a new relationship.
He knew what you needed to hear and made you feel like you finally found that someone who shared your same beliefs. It does
not matter what social or ethic background you are from. You just wanted someone to share life with.
What starts out as a "knight in shining armor" soon begins to turn into a "nightmare". The sad
part is that in the public eye the man is charismatic, charming and fun, but at home it is the complete opposite. When
trying to get support from family or friends you may hear, "oh he cannot possible be like that" or "why
don't you just leave then?" There is the statement made many times of, "what did YOU do to provoke the situation?"
Unless someone is actually in or has lived in an abusive situation they cannot understand how your complaints could be
true.
When your support systems begin to fade you start to feel even more alone and helpless. The situation
called, "learned helpless" develops. Your confidence is gone. After so many times of hearing it is your fault, the
false accusations, being belittled and discredited, told you are ugly or stupid, meals being flung across the room, being
isolated from others, experiencing verbal and physical battering, denying his promiscuity, it is then that your reality
becomes distorted. You are brainwashed. You give up. You become exhausted, because no matter what you do or say it never
seems to be right.
I cannot encourage you enough to call any hotline, crisis center, hospital or police
station to make a break. Do not stop looking for help even if you run into some who would make it seem that you are the blame.
No, it is not easy and you will be afraid, but living a life of fear is NOT living. If there are children in this type
of relationship, what kind of an example is being set for them? The boys will become abusers and the girls will become the
victims of abusers. The cycle just continues on.
This post is written mostly for women because more women are abused
in our society than males. I do add though, that abuse does happen to men and they also need to be aware. It
is a problem that not only affects man-woman relationships, it is also happening in same sex relationships, children and the
elderly.
Abuse is violence and violence is a crime. It is living on a rollercoaster ride without the fun. Wouldn't
you rather get on with the life you are meant to live, with happiness and peace? Sometimes it is better to be alone than alone
with someone. We are all spiritual beings with a purpose in our lives and it is not to live in such dysfunction. Do you
want to take it...or leave it? Happiness is a choice and the time to be happy is now!
April 28, 2010
What the world needs now is love sweet love...?
What the world need now is more truth and less denial. This is pertaining to the abusers.
Yes, I know, "but they were probably abused as children", as some would say. That is partly true, the only difference
is, that as adults do they have the ability to make an adult choice? That is to want to stop, or to seek
some kind of help. It is the denial that anything or any situation is wrong, so nothing gets solved. Do you know that
some of the lonliest people are in relationships that are empty. They sleep next to each other and feel nothing. What you
cannot feel you cannot heal! They keep telling themselves that it will be OK, I need the finances, it is for the kids
or they fear the unknown etc. The truth is that underneath the feeling may be that "I don't trust
myself to be able to make it alone". Another well known statement is..."but I love him/her". Who could
possibly love someone who verbally or physically abuses them? It may have started out about love, but it turns into fear and
denial of your pain. You eventually get to the point of not feeling any emotion and your personal power gets
weaker the the longer you are in this kind of relationship. Of course that is when the abuser has won. In some situations
it takes getting nearly beaten to death to make the necessary leap of faith. I am mostly speaking to women here. When confidence
gets so far down and you are on the floor with someone kicking you, what do you think will change that? It is YOU!!
There is one thing for certain, when you do decide to change your situation, things will work out! Have faith
in yourself and your inner power. It is not your fault when someone else misuses and abuses you. It is their problem!
Believe me, anything worthwhile doesn't come easy. Be a survivor and dump the garbage. Pick up the telephone and ask for
help. Get out of the victim role. I know it can be done. I am a survivor. Live the peaceful life you deserve. YOU ARE WORTH
IT!!!
February 14, 2010
What about abuse...?
It
is all about dysfunction and making a choice! Behavior is a choice! Abusers may or may not be under the influence of
drugs or alcohol, but in most cases have someone to focus on. They usually control in negative ways so they
can build themselves up. Staying around this type of loser only drags you down. They like to have a hostage, so to speak.
When they discover a weakness in you they play on it and manipulate to control. As time goes on you are the one who loses
energy. It stunts your growth and abilities. Abusers do not want the person they focus on to be happy. They just want
control and will use physical abuse to get it. Emotional/verbal abuse leaves scars on the soul for a very
long time, and can last for a lifetime. It can be very subtle so that you don't even realize what is happening.
You just know and feel that something is dragging you down.
The abuse cycle is a
merry-go-round. The agitation, yelling, blaming, finding fault and so on. Then comes the hitting, throwing things or
any other violent act. When the acting out is over along comes the apologies, I'm sorry, promises and I will never do
that again. You feel sorry and on it goes. Usually it doesn't change and if you remain in this situation eventually
you will get to the point when you feel like you cannot get out. A spirit can only take so much beating down. Your strength
is gone, along with any self worth you had.
A hard situation to face, but in a sick relationship you need to understand
that you cannot control anything outside yourself or change anyone but yourself. The old statement..."I love him/her"
doesn't fly. It's more like you do not love yourself. It is living in denial. Unless you see a real change happening
in the abuser over time, walk away and never look back! It is not easy but in the end you will learn that it is the only
way to save your own soul. Keep in mind that you aren't anyone special to the abusive person who doesn't want
to work on changing. They will sweet talk someone else as they move on to a new victim. Do not be fooled by sweet words, look
beyond the surface and be very aware. Forgive the person, but not the behavior because they choose to abuse!
My
words are straightforward, but there is not any excuse for abuse of any type toward another person. Experience didn't
come from a book; but experience can write the book.
February 10, 2010
Have you ever ask yourself...Who am I?
This question has many
answers. We think in terms of our feelings, our looks, status or abilities, just to name a few. I feel experiences and
conditioning play a large part in how we view ourselves. Maybe insecurity or emotional pain is some of what causes one
to even ask this question. A sense of low self worth. Even if these reasons do not fit everyone, there may come a time
in later life when a small doubt arises that makes one wonder if, "this is all there is" or "have I made a
difference in anything?" Personally I feel that we compare ourselves too much with others or with what society in general
expects, therefore we lose that individuality we were born with and become clones. Take a long look in the mirror, stand there
and ask yourself the question: "who am I?" Try this.
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