"SEEDS FOR SOUL"

Changes
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What are some changes?

Traumatic or uncontrollable circumstances can shape our lives. Some situations are caused by ignorance, wanting a sense of belonging or just unusual events. There can be much emotional and physical pain. Loneliness, grief, low self-esteem and lack of confidence in turn causes our inner spirit to get lower with each experience. Confusion can set in followed by self-destructive habits. A chain reaction of living on the defensive and unhealthy patterns become a lifestyle. Then one day something causes a turn around in our thinking. Can we say, "maybe I did the best I could with what I had to work with" or "maybe there was no one there when I needed them?" I suppose there are many who could identify with those words.

Self blame has to end for any healing to begin. Becoming aware, and not being a scapegoat can certainly change an angry existence into a more peaceful life. It becomes a choice of who should be in your life, and if the return is worth the investment, no matter who it is. It is okay to be an individual instead of a robotic clone, just to fit in. Fear is one of the main reasons  people are judged for their beliefs that do not happen to agree with the mass. Personally I have met with some hard challenges to overcome. Below I am going to list some of them. I hope they can inspire someone to plunge ahead and move through their hard times. In our lives we will always have difficulties, but keep faith and hope to evercome, instead of succumb. 

                     What are some of your personal challenges? 
                                             ***
             
Some of my personal challenges, losses and changes


Childhood innocence- from being molested as a child, not yet school age
by a landlord with unnecessary guilt/shame I carried for years. 

Identity- from seeing and living in dysfunctional domestic violence
with the feeling of loneliness that accompanies it.

Teenage years- from too many responsibilities. 

Sense of belonging- from a feeling of being unwanted.

Loss of youth- from early motherhood at age sixteen. 

Friends and school- from living here and there.

Confidence and trust- due to rejection and invalidation.

Self-worth- from after affects of a rape and a second time,
attempted rape by six men

Fear and anger- due to no place to live, abandoned, no money
or food.

Self and spirit- from physical and emotional abuse in
relationships and marriage. 

A family- due to unsuccessful marriages and desertion.

Near death experience- while pregnant and blood loss due to
hemorrhaging.

Another near loss of life- broken leg, sub-zero weather after
falling in the yard, alone in the country at night on the way to work.


Death of one son- killed in an auto accident.

Loss of nursing career and income- due to an irreversible 
job injury.

Loss of home- due to finances and to leave an area behind with
all the residual abuse energy there.

A sense of failure- due to a necessary bankruptcy.

Less independence- due to the physical limitation.

These are short versions of the adversities, feelings and times I have had to rise above. I can only say that it has been a growth process, not easy, but a growth process to say the least! Maybe there are some who will not like, or believe what I have written on this page, but if that is so, maybe looking within would be something to consider. My truth is just what it is...the truth. I was the one experiencing it. Much more could be written about each event, but I do not feel the need to elaborate here. Having risen above many experiences, I know that whatever we do through life, whether it is our own mistakes, or someone elses doing, it builds character and a sense of compassion for others. Opportunities are out there for those who are willing to push ahead regardless of circumstances. Not everything in life is fluff and bunnies, but when coming to a crossroad in life forge ahead with gusto! There is some truth in the words "the strong survive". Who do you want to be in that rocking chair someday, a bitter person or a contented senior telling your stories to the grandchildren?

*As an added note here - lack of support, chronic pain, and isolation is an issue for many seniors and/or those with physical challenges. Compassion and caring is needed for these people, as who knows when it may happen to anyone?
 
                                                           ****

              I found a saying a long time ago and I give credit to whoever wrote it...

        "man
has never made any material as resilient as the human spirit "


Whatever the situation may be, there is always an answer somewhere or someone to help you find it within yourself!
                         
                     ~~Believe in your spirit~~

                                               
                                                     
                                                   
                                                

to be continued...