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Traumatic
or uncontrollable circumstances can shape our lives from childhood and beyond. Some situations are caused by ignorance,
wanting a sense of belonging or just unusual events. There can be much emotional and physical pain. Loneliness, grief,
low self-esteem and lack of confidence in turn causes our inner spirit to get lower with each experience. Confusion can set
in followed by self-destructive habits. A chain reaction of living on the defensive and unhealthy patterns become
a lifestyle. Then one day something or someone causes a turn around in our thinking. Can we say, "maybe I did
the best I could with what I had to work with" or "maybe there was no one there when I needed them?" I suppose
there are many who could identify with those words. Making mistakes and bad choices certainly create scars that last a lifetime.
Self blame has to end for any healing to begin. Becoming aware, and not being a scapegoat can certainly change
an angry existence into a more peaceful life. It becomes a choice of who should be in your life, and if the return is
worth the investment, no matter who it is. It is okay to be an individual instead of a robotic clone, just to fit
in. Fear is one of the main reasons people are judged for their beliefs that do not happen to agree with the
mass. Personally I have met with some hard challenges to overcome. Below I am going to list some of them. I hope they
can inspire someone to plunge ahead and move through their hard times. In our lives we will always have difficulties,
but what is important is to keep faith and hope to overcome, instead of succumb.
What are some of your personal challenges?
***
Personal challenges - and changes as I walked my path of life
Childhood innocence-
from being molested as a child, not yet school age
by a landlord with resultant and unnecessary guilt/shame
I carried for years.
Loneliness as a young girl that continued on.
Identity- from
seeing and living in dysfunctional domestic violence
with the feeling of loneliness that still follows.
A pattern setting in
affecting future times.
Teenage years- from too many responsibilities, without
emotional
support and too much criticism. Anger and hostility set in with a rebelliou
attitude.
Sense of belonging- from a feeling of being unwanted and discredited
and "the fault
for whatever". It seems always looking for somewhere
to live due to being "in the way".
Loss of youth- looking for love and early motherhood at age sixteen with
the fear accompanying that. Rejected
and feeling very alone, trying to live
here and there.
Friends and school- Leaving school early
due to being discredited
and called lazy for sitting and doing homework, so then began the rebellion.
Starting to copy the dysfunctional lifestyle. The typical norm is not what
was learned, so therefore lack of friendships.
Confidence and trust- due to rejection and invalidation from others because of
my own ignorance
and belief that I was not worthy
Self-worth- from the after affects of a rape and a second time,
attempted rape by six men...and then hearing "what did you do
to cause this"?
Fear and
anger- from no place to live, abandoned, no money
or food from two bad choices in marriage.
Self
and spirit- from physical and emotional abuse in
relationships.
A family- due
to dysfunctional childhood memories,
unsuccessful marriages and the mistakes with necessary
but, bad choices
on my part.
Near death experience- while pregnant with my last child
from blood loss.
Another dance with death- broken leg, -17 degree sub-zero weather
after falling in the
yard, alone in the country at night heading for work.
Death of one son- who was killed in
an auto accident. He was my first
born.
Loss of nursing career and income- due to an irreversible
job injury.
Loss of home- due to finances and to leave an area behind
with all the residual
abuse energy there.
A sense of failure- due to a necessary bankruptcy.
Less independence- due
to some physical limitations now.
These are short versions of the adversities, feelings and times I have
had to rise above. I can only say that it has been a growth process, not easy, but a growth process to say the least! Maybe
there are some who will not like, or believe what I have written on this page, but if that is so, maybe looking within
themselves would be something to consider. My truth is just what it is...the truth. I was the one experiencing it and now
believe, some of us have to live harder lessons on life's journey. The gift one ends up with is humility and compassion
for humanity. Much more could be written about each event, but I do not feel the need to elaborate here.
Having
risen above these, among many other experiences, I know that whatever we do through life, whether it is our
own mistakes, or someone elses doing, it builds strength of character. Opportunities are out there for those who are willing
to push ahead regardless of circumstances. Not everything in life is fluff, but remember when coming to a crossroad in life
forge ahead with gusto! There is some truth in the words "the strong survive". Who do you want to be in that rocking
chair someday, a bitter person living the victim role or a contented senior telling your stories to the grandchildren?
Of course, adding a little humor along the way helps to overcome the rough spots.
*As an added note here - lack
of support, chronic pain, and isolation is an issue for some of the elderly and/or those with physical challenges. Compassion
and caring is needed for these people. Everyone ages and life can be unpredictable?
****
I found a saying a long time ago and I give
credit to whoever wrote it...
"man has never made any material as resilient as
the
human spirit "
Whatever the situation
may be, there is always an answer somewhere or someone to help you find it within yourself!
~~Believe in your spirit~~
~~YOURSELF!~~
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